Prehistoric Porn

We’ve all seen the Woman of Willendorf, right? Knowing everything you do about the nature of humanity in our time, what the hell makes you think people were any different 26000 B.C.E. It’s pornography; it’s a doll to remind some hunter far from home that back in the cave, a person like this, waits. It’s a reminder to the one that has no mate, that this is the ideal.

Anthropologists can say all the shit they want about it being a Goddess, worshiped and revered, but let’s be real, who makes handheld fondle-able dolls of their deities? Perhaps the act of sex was religion onto itself. There were chub-dolls and penis dolls too. Of course, when a penis is found carved from rock, it’s assumed to be a dildo–human nature is recognized dead to rights, but a female doll…one so fat? It must be a higher calling thing because Neandertals weren’t a bunch of Bro-Mags, their brains weren’t intricate enough to replicate fondle-dolls to take the place of the real thing.

It’s porn. Prehistoric porn.